The goal of coaching,

Belief attachments, part 7
Reza Hossein Borr

Belief attachments will not allow you any major change.
The official coaches must realise the differences between religious beliefs and ordinary beliefs. A person is always entitled to hold and maintain his beliefs. If the person himself concludes that he needs some changes in his belief to improve his life that is something that a professional coach can help him with. For example, I know somebody who believes that having money corrupts people. Obviously this person has a despising belief for money in his mind. It is obvious that this person cannot be rich. He may not even be able to make sufficient money to have a decent living. There is the kind of beliefs that professional coach must help the other side to change.

You do not change yourself when you need it badly if you are too much attached to your beliefs. Beliefs can be held for hundreds of years, generations after generations. Not only we hold beliefs firmly but we transfer them firmly to others. Whatever is the result of our beliefs, we cannot change easily even if when we need it badly to change. These are not only the religious beliefs that are considered sacred, some other people consider ordinary beliefs as part of themselves and they say it is called me. I am all about my beliefs and if I do not hold that belief, I would not be the same. It is me. This is not the case. People can change their beliefs over and over and can be the same person. Beliefs can be changed and must be changed when they are not useful anymore.

Sometimes beliefs become part of our identity. This is a very dangerous situation. The identity of the people must be separated from their beliefs but this is not the case now. We identify people as Moslems, Christians, Jews and others. In fact people can change any other thing so easily but when it comes to changing religion everything becomes very difficult. Those religions which are general do leave room for change. Anyway in coaching we do not deal with religious beliefs. We only deal with ordinary beliefs that can remove some barriers from the away of progress and prosperity of the people. The coaches must realise this very important issue.

Wrong beliefs can be the source of immense problems and poverty. Belief attachments are more difficult than any other thing in life to change and they are source of more behaviours than any other thing. Those who are attached to much to their beliefs can become the product of their beliefs and you can see the embodiment of their beliefs in their lives. If their beliefs and opinions are constructive and productive, they usually have very fulfilling lives. If the beliefs are negative and out of dated opinions, then they make you part an out of dated world. Those people that you see on the streets and looked very odd present their beliefs in their appearances. The appearance of someone can show a lot of his beliefs. Whenever you talk about the negative results of the beliefs, they argue that the beliefs are sacred and nothing must change your beliefs.

Professional coaches usually do not touch religious beliefs are. They usually deal with the beliefs that are originated from political and soc-economic conditions. They know that people are attached to their religions because they were born in the religion. The people love to have their religion appreciated even if sometimes it is the source of discomfort for them and when this is the case, they usually blame themselves for what has got wrong and not their religion. This is the reason that the professional coaches must avoid any religious arguments. Anyway a coach must look for other beliefs and discover how they are the source of different difficulties that the person may suffer from.

It is up to the person to decide what he can do and what he wants to do with his beliefs. If the belief is limiting one he has the choice of changing it. But unless the belief is changed the resulting behaviour from the belief cannot be avoided.

People become attached to the beliefs physically, mentally and emotionally. The coach must act from within the world of the coachee so that his world is reflected and respected.

Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email: sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com