The goal of coaching, Generating alternatives, 4

Generating alternatives, part 4

Reza Hossein Borr

If I do not do this, what can I do? If I do not like this behaviour, what behaviour I must have? If I do not like my job, what kind of job I would like?

If I do not like my car, what do I like? If I do not like, what do I like? I defined the goal of coaching as triggering thinking creatively to generate alternatives, yes alternatives.

There is an alternative to everything. There are in fact alternatives to all the present states, situations, behaviours, beliefs, thoughts, and possessions. Whatever you have and whatever you do and hope that you have done, there are many alternatives to them. Life becomes very simple if you think of alternatives. Life becomes extremely difficult if you do not think of alternatives and think that you cannot have anything different. Think for ways of alternatives. But don't fix something which is not broken as the Americans used to say. If something is working well just keep it. But always think of alternatives.

Ask yourself what will happen if I have a new alternative to the present state or behaviour or belief? Ask yourself what will happen if I have a new job? What will happen if I have a new home? What will happen if I can move to new city? What will happen if I have new friends? What will happen if I have different ideas? What will happen if I speak differently? What will happen if I think differently? There are always better and more effective alternatives.

When there are better and more effective alternatives why we should not go for them? Always think of alternatives. The people who thought of alternatives have created all those things that we have. The people who have not thought of alternatives have not changed anything. We need to change and therefore, alternatives must be always thought of, discussed and even evaluated and encouraged to happen.

When you coach somebody, you trigger in her a sense of looking for alternatives. People get stack because they do not think of alternatives and think that there is no alternative. People get sick because they think there is no any alternative state. If you want to make permanent changes in somebody, change his attitude from being stack to finding alternatives. Once a person accepted and acknowledged that there are alternatives he can raise the question of what alternative will best suit me in the present situation. Finding alternatives is giving people hope that they can see a better future.

People usually do not think about alternatives unless external or internal forces force them in so doing. They usually accept what comes on their way and move on as if that is the only choice. Nothing is the only choice. Every choice has other choices. Every choice has an alternative. In fact there is no alternative to anything unless you have to ask the question. People usually do not ask questions from themselves. They ask questions from others, and the greatest question that anybody can and must ask himself is: what is the alternative? Alternative to whatever I think, alternatives to whatever I say, alternative to whatever I feel, and alternative to whatever I do and alternative to whatever I have. If you have the courage to ask yourself these questions, initially you will begin a great sense of curiosity which is accompanied by uncertainty and also by turbulence in your life. People love stability and security and asking questions about alternatives tarnishes, reduces or even erodes the level of stability and security they have.

A coach, a mentor and a master must generate a state within a person in which she accepts to be questioned vigorously. He also must willingly accept to answer questions vigorously. A lot of solutions will come out when the questions are asked and when the answers are given. A lot of new inventions come up. A lot of new ideas would be produced. A lot of behaviours will change. A lot of efforts will follow. A lot of energy would be released.

One of the best skills of the coach is to create an environment in which responding becomes easy and systematic. Since answers will reveal a lot of secrets and possibly sad events of the past, a coach and a mentor must have the ability to create a comfortable environment in which recalling of the sad news and sad events of the past will bring in new solutions, not only to the same sad event but how in the future that the person will be equipped with the necessary skills for undesirable events of the future.

We make our future by what we already have and what we have already done and what we can do now. Making a good future will not be possible if the right alternatives are not created now. Find the right alternatives, apply them and when you reached the desired outcomes, think of how you can improve them even further. We must never stop looking for being better, looking better, having more, and the great secret is to start NOW.

Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email: sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com